The Hardest Part of Leadership

Not too long ago, I decided to get radical.  I changed jobs, I’m starting a new business, and I found several ways to get my hands dirty.  All of this change excites me and energizes me.  But nothing could prepare me for what’s been the hardest part of leadership I’ve encountered thus far.

And that is the move from Quarterback to Coach.  It’s working through the emotions of realizing you are no longer “do-er”.  It’s being aware that a certain amount of pride was tied to all that hard work, and a “win” now looks different. And it’s getting real with yourself about how to feel successful as priorities change.

There comes a point in a career path where people move from getting the work done themselves to overseeing a team of amazing people who do the work. In my previous role where I lead a team, I still had parts of every project that were my responsibility. With this job change, things are different. I’m responsible for much, but less involved in the day to day projects; something I realize now how much I liked.

I quickly learned there is no class or course, or chat with someone older and wiser that prepares a doer with how to turn that off.  I’ve watched peers fail at moving to the coaching position and know it results in demotivated staff, nervous leadership, and early departures of qualified employees.  Knowing that potential for failure made me eager to overcome this hurdle and build a team of excited, hungry players who want to win together.

I wish there were five tips I could list for how to make this transition easy.  I’m still in the thick of learning it (and sometimes, struggling with it).  But I know the struggle means the results will be better.  Honoring the MVP has always been easy.  Stepping off the field…that takes a whole new set of skills.

What has been the hardest part of leadership for you? How’d you break through?

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How Much is “Enough”?

There’s a great scene with Sandra Bullock and James Garner in the movie version of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood that always gets me.

Sidda: Daddy, did you get loved enough?
‘Shep’ Walker: What’s enough? My question is, did you?

As we search the stores for that perfect gift or perfect card this year for Father’s Day, I wonder if we should pause a moment to think about what will speak love most to our dads.

Truth be told, my relationship with my dad lives near “nonexistent.”   I was always different from everyone else in my family.  And as I grew older, the gap grew wider.  These days, though we’re only 90 minutes apart, the emotional distance is more like “other side of the world.”

Earlier this week I saw a tweet from Adam Roth that said “Any thought that makes you feel that you have to earn or “work hard enough” today for God to be pleased with you is a spirit of Fatherlessness.”   It hit me in the gut and has stayed in my mind for days.  Enough that it could be another blog post, but not today.  What it did do is cause me to evaluate where I am with that relationship right now.

I bought a Father’s Day card that says “I’m praying God opens up a new door for us. A new beginning of grace, respect, forgiveness-and the understanding we both long for.”  To be honest, I don’t feel it.  But I know we’re called to do things even when we don’t feel them.  And while it’s true that I wasn’t loved enough, I know God can make miracles happen, even when we don’t have the ability to see it.  It may not change anything, but I’m thankful my heart is open to the possibility.

But you know, God is so good in knowing what we need. He knew that my flesh and blood dad couldn’t give what my heart ached for.  So He gave me an adopted dad who could.  Had it not been for this man, I’d be a shell of the person I was meant to be.

Today, I’m lifting up Dads.  Those who try. Those who fail. Those who give of themselves, and those who are learning to.  Those who know that life is made of memories they help create. And those who understand that when it comes to love…there is never enough.

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Two Words That Can Change History Pt. 1

Imagine the Possibilities

“What” and “If” are two little words that, on their own, keep sentences moving.  But put them together…and suddenly the world is ripe with possibility.  Radical possibilities that could change us completely, and alter the course of history.  The idea is so big that I can’t even put all my thoughts in one post.  I’ve been stewing on it all weekend…dreaming about it at night…contemplating while driving home from work.  I tend to believe when that much thought occurs about something, it’s for a reason.

We all have our own ideas and dreams, but I’ll share the “what if’s” that have been stirring my heart these past few days:

  • What if every child in the world never had to wonder if they are loved?
  • What if we lived each day thinking about the legacy we’ll leave behind?
  • What if we continued city-wide weekly volunteer days, even after a catastrophe has passed?
  • What if we always gave each other the benefit of the doubt?
  • What if you began to realize a life-long dream, no matter the cost?
  • What if we thought more of wealthy people who use $100k to buy clean water for poor countries, rather than buying a new Bentley?
  • What if you truly believed it’s easier to forgive than hang on to anger?
  • What if our government was once again something worth believing in, instead of a constant source of discord?
  • What if each person chose a day when they’d love openly and unconditionally? Imagine the ripple-effect.
  • What if your “Bucket List” became “Business as Usual?”

Can you feel it?  Is your heart beating faster?  Is your mind running wild with ideas of what these things would look like?   What has to happen to move these from “what if” to “happening now?”

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The Power of Recognition

There is something special that happens when you see people lifted up for their accomplishments. Most people are truly happy for those who have been recognized and it creates a sense of community not easily broken.   It also generates much excitement as people think about the possibilities in their own lives.

Lately, I’ve witnessed several different examples of public recognition that not only make my heart swell with pride and happiness for the recipients, but also gain more respect for those giving the recognition.  As I was sitting in a Business Review meeting yesterday, I watched as one leader continually put the focus back on members of her team–she was ultimately accountable for success or failure, but made sure those in the room knew that her team was making it happen.  I found myself shooting emails to several people who’d been bragged on in the meeting, and each person replied with joy, knowing that they had been recognized.  And today, we had our quarterly All-Employee Meeting where annual performance and core values awards were given out.  I teared up as I watched several of my coworker friends be lifted up for their hard work, perseverance, and innovation.  The room was electric with the happy hearts of those who’d been awarded and those who got to be a part of the celebration.

Here are some lessons I’ve learned having been both the giver and receiver of recognition:

1.Hard work Does pay off-It doesn’t take a genius IQ, a magnetic personality, or living at the office to be seen as someone worth moving up the ladder.  But getting in the trenches, showing people you want to learn, and treating others as you want to be treated are surefire ways to get noticed.

2. Being true to who you are Will set you up for success-Sucking up only gets you so far.  Sure, it can work, but only to the person you’re sucking up to (meanwhile no one else can stand you). Being real is harder, but in the end frees you up to live out your goals.

3. Recognition breeds loyalty-Mark Schoenwald, our President at Thomas Nelson, is one of the most authentic, people-focused, consistent leaders I’ve worked for.  He makes time to connect with people, is an open and consistent communicator, and makes it a priority to never miss an opportunity to brag on others. I’d follow him most anywhere because he’s earned my respect in spades.

4. Recognizing others lifts you up too-It takes confidence in yourself as a leader to step out of the spotlight and give credit to others.  And in doing so, you earn respect and credibility.

Make it a point today to lift up someone publicly.  You will make their day, and that will make yours.

“Don’t worry when you aren’t recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.”-Abraham Lincoln

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