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Work/Life Balance – Jennifer Deshler http://jenniferdeshler.com Redefining Success Wed, 03 Aug 2016 05:08:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.6.2 9198906 Is the lesson in the waiting? http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/04/25/is-the-lesson-in-the-waiting/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/04/25/is-the-lesson-in-the-waiting/#comments Mon, 26 Apr 2010 01:24:19 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.com/?p=614 Waiting Pete Wilson, one of our pastors at the Nashville campus of  CrossPoint Church has been doing a series on Shattered Dreams.  Today, the lesson was on “Waiting on God”.  There were so many good nuggets in the message that it was almost hard to keep up with my notetaking.  I kept thinking about things going on in my life-even right now-where I really need the words he spoke today.

In my last post, I talked about some radical things I’m going after both personally and professionally.  And since writing it, I’ve been actively working on each thing.  My body definitely feels the effects of more rigorous exercise.  And the career pursuits are moving along. It’s been an exciting time all around, as I feel the inertia of moving forward.  The hardest part has been in asking God for a radical assignment.  Because the “homework” I’m doing right now…sucks.  My little girl has been struggling for 22 straight days with migraine-like symptoms.  We’ve been to countless doctors; she’s been poked and prodded, she’s had fluids put in and blood taken out.  And she’s been put on medications that have made even our pharmacist nervous.  And Nothing has worked.  At this point, I’m emotionally exhausted.  It has noticeably altered our lives, and has caused me many tears as I watch her struggle with the pain. There are moments here and there of her sweet, happy personality.  But the first and last words I hear each day are about how bad it hurts.

Pete asked a really hard question this morning.  When times get tough, will we trust or control? Though I’ve been saying that I was believing God for a change, and have been asking Him daily for a break in the pain, I’ve mainly been aggressively pursuing treatment and “driving the bus” to try to find an answer for why this is happening.  Don’t get me wrong–I absolutely believe in doctors and medicine…but first and foremost I know I should be looking up for guidance.  In our sermon notes today was this point: Hope does not come only from believing God’s power, but also from accepting and trusting His timing. Nothing about what’s been happening with her is normal.  I think it’s time for me to move from trying to control what’s happening and truly trust Him to protect her and heal her.  Because I know that God heals. And I have to trust that He made her for a purpose that’s not going to be destroyed by this pain.  I asked for a radical assignment, and this ordeal has definitely tested my faith.

Does this hit you in any area your of life?  Where do you need to let go and let God?

P.S. If you are running low on hope, or feeling that life hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would, please check out this website about Pete’s new book, Plan B.  I’m reading it now, and it’s the perfect message for this journey.

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It’s Time to be Radical http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/04/13/its-time-to-be-radical/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/04/13/its-time-to-be-radical/#comments Wed, 14 Apr 2010 04:04:03 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.com/?p=408 Image credit www.foxyblunt.com
Image credit: www.foxyblunt.com

Some people hate change.  They get nervous about rearranged furniture or unplanned travel.  Not me.   I need new seasons in life–new responsibilities, and challenges.   For about two months, I’ve been feeling the need to “shake things up”, but just couldn’t figure out where the “itch” was.  I realized it wasn’t just one area of life–it’s everywhere.  I’m ready for an Overhaul.  And you know what?  I’m excited!

Here are just a few things I’m doing that will Definitely challenge me in this next season:

I ordered Insanity. Yes, I am insane.  Let’s see if I’m still breathing the week after it arrives.  Clearly, the results will be immediate.

I’m reevaluating my work life. I love where I work and can’t imagine leaving. I know I have to be intentional-it’s not change just to have something new.  It’s change to see how I might positively impact the company in a new way.

I’m taking the next step on a business idea. I have strong entrepreneurial tendencies and know what I’m capable of when it’s my butt on the line.  The big win?  It’s something that will be successful while also allowing me to keep my career.  Can’t beat that.

I’m asking God for a radical assignment.  Call me crazy, but from the time I was a little girl, I’ve asked that God ask me to do something big.  And when I look at my life, all I see is a place where things have become comfortable.   For others, that’s likely the picture of perfection.  For me, it means I’ve really missed it somewhere.  I  don’t need to lose it all to think God has used me, but I do think big faith means change, and I don’t want to look back on a life that was just comfy.  I want to know I really made a difference.

Your turn.  Are you doing anything radical these days?  If so, do you love it or does it stress you out?

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Persistence http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/02/24/persistence/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/02/24/persistence/#comments Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:54:59 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.com/?p=554  

Persistence (AP Images)

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. —Calvin Coolidge

On Monday evening, I was flipping between two shows.  I didn’t realize that the Olympic sport being shown was called “ice dancing” (I just thought it was pairs skating), but I’d seen the Canadians as they qualified over the weekend and wanted to see them go for gold in the finals.  Yes, the costumes were flambouyant; and yes, the dances lacked the jumps we love to watch, but I didn’t care.  I was captivated by the sheer determination it must have taken every Olympic hopeful to get there.  The announcer stated that a coach had paired the Canadians at ages seven and nine.  Imagine giving up so much and practically living your life with someone else beginning in second or third grade because of a dream.

When I look at my own life, it’s clear to see that persistence was hard-wired in my circuitry.  And that’s both good and bad.  It’s great when we go after a goal, or start a new hobby, or decide that we’re going to help someone.  Something inside pushes us not to give up.  On the bad side, it can show up as needyness and competition, both of which hamper our ability to grow and affect change.

What is it within us that makes us strive for more? To reach for something that allows us to make the world a better place?  I think it’s specific passions born by God into each of us.  And what we do with them shapes who we are and alters the world around us.  Powerful stuff.

I was joyfully tearful when the Canadians won that night.  It was wonderful to see their persistence pay off.

What are you passionately persistent about?

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In Comparison of Others http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/02/07/in-comparison-of-others/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/02/07/in-comparison-of-others/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 02:56:41 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.com/?p=410
Photo credit Peter Daveney

I admit it.  Sometimes I compare myself to others.  I wish I managed my blog and connected with new people as well as Lindsey does.  To have the effortless grace Tami does would be wonderful.  And how I’d love to wake up every day knowing exactly what I was made for, the way Britt does.

But I am not these fabulous women.  I’m me.  Not that there’s anything wrong with being me.  I know I have my own unique gifts and talents–it’s just that sometimes I wish I possessed the unique talents other people already have.  Wouldn’t that be fun-a sort of “widget”  list of great attributes we could add to ourselves?

We all struggle with “Keeping up with the Joneses”.  There’s a need to be seen as having it all together, staying on track with our career goals, having the perfect marriage, and being the perfect parents.  As I’ve gotten older, there are a few lessons beginning to take shape:

  1. Titles don’t make the person-Early in my career, I set some serious “over achiever” goals for myself.  And I worked way too hard to get them. A few years’ back, I realized I didn’t care about the ladder anymore.  I cared more about being passionate about what I do.
  2. Being passionate is a must-The business cards, the paycheck, being part of a leadership team…none of that can ever add up to “enough” when you are alone with your thoughts if you don’t love what you do. Same goes for who we love, who we’re friends with, and what hobbies we spend time doing.  We’re just burning hours without passion.
  3. Being happy is worth the risk-If you aren’t in a career, relationship, or church you love and are fed by, make room for a different possibility.  Be willing to be uncomfortable for a little while in order to be happy in the end.
  4. There are no perfect people– We all have strengths–and weakenessess–that make us who we are.  And while I may see characteristics in others I’m motivated to add to my own list, I know that God created each of us for a specific purpose and without those inherent traits, we would be unable to fulfill our purpose.

” Why compare yourself to others?  No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.”-author unknown

Do you struggle with this too?


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Knowing When to Hit “Pause” http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/01/05/knowing-when-to-hit-pause/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2010/01/05/knowing-when-to-hit-pause/#comments Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:05:57 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.com/?p=474 Hitting Pause
Hitting Pause

The two-week break over Christmas gave me some wonderful time to think about my life-plan, bond with my family and friends, and look ahead to what I want to do better in 2010.   And even as I walked back into the office on Monday, I noticed how much more laid back, happy, and inspired people were.  Why don’t we do a better job of making rest time a priority? 

Here are a few of my biggest takeaways from that time off: 

  1. Making good memories is easy-We didn’t have to take a lavish vacation to make some great memories this year.  Almost totally unplugging (there’s always room for improvement) and really focusing on family activities made the time pass too quickly, but offered some great events we’ll cherish for years to come.
  2. Saying “No” must happen sometimes-It’s easy to get overextended and allow that rat-race pattern to become routine.  Breaking away from some of the commitments really frees us up to be creative and at peace.
  3. We have to stop trying to be like others-This blog is a perfect example.  I wasn’t born to keep a blog updated-it’s not my life’s work or passion.  I got into it because I saw people I respect doing it and thought I needed to follow their path. But what comes easy for some becomes a burden to others.  I’m not going to post every day, or likely every three days.  Making peace with that fact has made blogging enjoyable again.  There are  areas in each of our lives where we must manage our own expectations and do what feeds our own souls.
  4. If we don’t like our lives, it’s our job to change it-Being passionate about our work, crazy about the people we are around, and happy with how we spend our downtime is our responsibility.  The Lord gave us a chance at eternal life, and the Bible gives us a great tool for navigation.  But no person, job, friend, or gadget will make the grass greener.  If life’s not going according to plan, we have to change it.
  5. Things don’t have to be perfect-Sounds simple, but some of us struggle with perfectionism.  Keeping a perfect house has become less important to me than making sure there’s quality family time.   And by reminding myself of these five points even now, I can truly appreciate the life I have.  It’s messy sometimes, but I’d have it no other way.

What revelations have come to you when you step out of the fast lane?

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I Dare You http://jenniferdeshler.com/2009/11/10/i-dare-you/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2009/11/10/i-dare-you/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:45:49 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.com/?p=398 people laughing2
Laugh a Little

My posts are usually on the more serious side.  I love learning and sharing.  But every once in a while, you just have to let the silly take over.  With that in mind, here’s an “I Dare You” that will make you laugh so hard you cry.  And hopefully, you will choose at least one on this list to do, just to make people look twice. 

1.   Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2.   Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
3.   Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and    say,”Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
4.   To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5.   Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”
6.   Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7.   While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
1.    Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2.    Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
3.    Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4.    Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
5.    Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

1.    At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself, 10 if you sing it through to the end).
2.   Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3.    For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob.”
4.   After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for 1 hour.
5.    While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
6.    In a colleague’s DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: “See how I look in tights.”(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
7.    Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You wanna trade?”
8.    Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
9.    Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”
10.   Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
11.    During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12.    Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Okay, now that you’ve had a good laugh, which one will you do??

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In Pursuit of Purpose http://jenniferdeshler.com/2009/09/20/in-pursuit-of-purpose/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2009/09/20/in-pursuit-of-purpose/#comments Sun, 20 Sep 2009 23:58:06 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.com/?p=301  


I don’t know about you, but I walk around most days asking God what I was made to do.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was made to be the mommy of this one specific child.  And I know that I was made to be in the lives of certain people.   Both are wonderful reasons to be here, but if that’s the extent of what I was made for, then why, at every turn, do I feel that I’m still not fulfilling the ultimate chapter of my story?

I feel the tug all the time.  To do more, to be more.   But I haven’t yet received that wonderful email from above saying “go here and do this”.  I look at my life and realize that while I’ve had struggles, I’ve weathered them pretty well and there’s really no excuse for me not to be living in the sweet spot of God’s calling.  

Of this, I am sure.  God wired me to need to feel that what I do matters.  To know that that who I am as a parent will alter the legacy of my generational line.  And that how I invest in others people’s lives will have an impact on them.  But I don’t have a bullet list of five things that will help get me there.  I don’t know that there is any remedy, other than prayer and seeking His will at all costs (which is a big enough challenge all on its’ own).  All I know is that every day, I thank God that I still feel the need to accomplish something amazing for the kingdom and to bear fruit in ways that only I can do.   As one of my authors, the incomparable Erin Healy said recently, there are worse things than death.  For me, walking through life never knowing what my role in the story is would definitely make the list.

Any words of wisdom?  Where did God plant you for a purpose only you can fulfill?

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The Tipping Point http://jenniferdeshler.com/2009/07/31/finding-the-tipping-point/ http://jenniferdeshler.com/2009/07/31/finding-the-tipping-point/#comments Fri, 31 Jul 2009 13:04:43 +0000 http://jenniferdeshler.wordpress.com/?p=115 Malcolm Gladwell wrote a fascinating book several years ago about how little changes can make a big difference and influence a “tipping point”…the moment when the right mix causes an epidemic and change occurs.


When I look back over the last three years, I see how this phenomenon moved me to where I am now, but lately, I’ve been looking for that next burst of momentum in all aspects of my life.  Others peek into my world and see gold stars-simply a testament to what can be done when you are determined to succeed.  But in my own mind, I wonder sometimes if I am riding the ghosts of former glory and need to create a new vision of the “me” I am today.  Outspoken, forward thinking, undisciplined in some areas, fiercely loyal, intent on building others up, and full of a desire to speak the same language as everyone else (though I know that all too often, for good and for bad, I move to the beat of a different drum).

Are we really only as good as the most recent memory? Or, as Nigel says each week on SYTYCD, do we need to remember the history of the season, and not just the dance we did today?

 What has to change in our thinking, work style, and outlook on life to propel us through to the tipping point?

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