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In Comparison of Others

February 7, 2010 in Leadership, People, Work/Life Balance with 9 Comments

Photo credit Peter Daveney

I admit it.  Sometimes I compare myself to others.  I wish I managed my blog and connected with new people as well as Lindsey does.  To have the effortless grace Tami does would be wonderful.  And how I’d love to wake up every day knowing exactly what I was made for, the way Britt does.

But I am not these fabulous women.  I’m me.  Not that there’s anything wrong with being me.  I know I have my own unique gifts and talents–it’s just that sometimes I wish I possessed the unique talents other people already have.  Wouldn’t that be fun-a sort of “widget”  list of great attributes we could add to ourselves?

We all struggle with “Keeping up with the Joneses”.  There’s a need to be seen as having it all together, staying on track with our career goals, having the perfect marriage, and being the perfect parents.  As I’ve gotten older, there are a few lessons beginning to take shape:

  1. Titles don’t make the person-Early in my career, I set some serious “over achiever” goals for myself.  And I worked way too hard to get them. A few years’ back, I realized I didn’t care about the ladder anymore.  I cared more about being passionate about what I do.
  2. Being passionate is a must-The business cards, the paycheck, being part of a leadership team…none of that can ever add up to “enough” when you are alone with your thoughts if you don’t love what you do. Same goes for who we love, who we’re friends with, and what hobbies we spend time doing.  We’re just burning hours without passion.
  3. Being happy is worth the risk-If you aren’t in a career, relationship, or church you love and are fed by, make room for a different possibility.  Be willing to be uncomfortable for a little while in order to be happy in the end.
  4. There are no perfect people- We all have strengths–and weakenessess–that make us who we are.  And while I may see characteristics in others I’m motivated to add to my own list, I know that God created each of us for a specific purpose and without those inherent traits, we would be unable to fulfill our purpose.

” Why compare yourself to others?  No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.”-author unknown

Do you struggle with this too?

 

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Knowing When to Hit “Pause”

January 5, 2010 in Inspiration, People, Work/Life Balance with 12 Comments

Hitting Pause

Hitting Pause

The two-week break over Christmas gave me some wonderful time to think about my life-plan, bond with my family and friends, and look ahead to what I want to do better in 2010.   And even as I walked back into the office on Monday, I noticed how much more laid back, happy, and inspired people were.  Why don’t we do a better job of making rest time a priority? 

Here are a few of my biggest takeaways from that time off: 

  1. Making good memories is easy-We didn’t have to take a lavish vacation to make some great memories this year.  Almost totally unplugging (there’s always room for improvement) and really focusing on family activities made the time pass too quickly, but offered some great events we’ll cherish for years to come.
  2. Saying “No” must happen sometimes-It’s easy to get overextended and allow that rat-race pattern to become routine.  Breaking away from some of the commitments really frees us up to be creative and at peace.
  3. We have to stop trying to be like others-This blog is a perfect example.  I wasn’t born to keep a blog updated-it’s not my life’s work or passion.  I got into it because I saw people I respect doing it and thought I needed to follow their path. But what comes easy for some becomes a burden to others.  I’m not going to post every day, or likely every three days.  Making peace with that fact has made blogging enjoyable again.  There are  areas in each of our lives where we must manage our own expectations and do what feeds our own souls.
  4. If we don’t like our lives, it’s our job to change it-Being passionate about our work, crazy about the people we are around, and happy with how we spend our downtime is our responsibility.  The Lord gave us a chance at eternal life, and the Bible gives us a great tool for navigation.  But no person, job, friend, or gadget will make the grass greener.  If life’s not going according to plan, we have to change it.
  5. Things don’t have to be perfect-Sounds simple, but some of us struggle with perfectionism.  Keeping a perfect house has become less important to me than making sure there’s quality family time.   And by reminding myself of these five points even now, I can truly appreciate the life I have.  It’s messy sometimes, but I’d have it no other way.

What revelations have come to you when you step out of the fast lane?

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Holiday Gift Suggestions

December 15, 2009 in Inspiration, People with 4 Comments

christmas_tree

Oren Arnold, a writer and newspaperman, beautifully captured the sentiment of gift-giving at this time of year in the quote below :

“To your enemy, forgiveness.  To an opponent, tolerance.  To a friend, your heart.  To a customer, service.  To all, charity.  To every child, a good example.  To yourself, respect.”

There’s a sense of wonder in the air.  The anticipation is almost palpable as we count down the days.  And opportunities to invest in the lives of others await around every corner.

Which of these gifts are you giving this Christmas?

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The Pleasure of Being Known

December 14, 2009 in Family and Friends, Inspiration, People with 6 Comments

Knowing

I know you

A week or so ago, Mary Graham and Sheila Walsh were tweeting.  It’s wonderful to see the Women of Faith ladies interact, as it’s clear they truly are family.  In one of her tweets, Mary was referencing an artist on the tour and said to Sheila, “One of life’s greatest pleasures is in being known.  And she Knows You.”  That phrase has stuck with me ever since, and I’ve been pondering why God planted that little nugget so tightly in my mind.  I didn’t understand it until this weekend.  God knew I’d need to chew on it a bit.

In a very unplanned twist to our day, we ended up at Davis Kidd bookstore on Saturday evening. As we wandered downstairs to visit the kids’ area, I noticed folks setting up for a live performance.  I paused as a man uncased a beautiful bass cello.  You could tell from the worn wood that it had been a well-loved instrument.  At that same time, someone began warming up, and I knew we’d be staying to see whoever was performing.  Music moves me.  All music, and not in a small way.  God knows that about me.  I think music is one of His very best gifts to us.

The event turned out to be a tribute to a woman named Ruth McGinnis.  She and her band had been regular performers at Davis Kidd (and many other places), and she had sadly passed away from ovarian cancer in October.  I hadn’t seen Ruth perform before, and it was only when her quiet, gentle-spirited younger sister, Erin McGinnis Long, shared that I began to catch a glimpse of who this amazing woman was.  It made her death more real, but also made the tribute that much richer.  Through Erin, I felt like I knew Ruth. 

Thinking back over these past two weeks, here’s what I keep coming back to:

  1. We all want to be known.  We want a mate, friends, and our family to “get” who we are and love us, warts and all.
  2. We want to know others.  To understand what makes others tick.  To know their joys and pains before a word is spoken.
  3. Being known and knowing others is such hard work.  To get past the superficial is hard.  It takes commitment.  And sometimes, it’s painful. Most of the time, though, it’s truly rewarding.

But I think more than anything, we have this insatiable hunger to know and be known by our maker.  There are days when I struggle with both.  But after those bad days, I wake up thanking God that He hasn’t given up.  That, as in Isaiah 46:19, our names are carved in the palm of His hands.

Who knows you best?  And what keeps others from knowing you more?

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