There’s a great scene with Sandra Bullock and James Garner in the movie version of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood that always gets me.

Sidda: Daddy, did you get loved enough?
‘Shep’ Walker: What’s enough? My question is, did you?

As we search the stores for that perfect gift or perfect card this year for Father’s Day, I wonder if we should pause a moment to think about what will speak love most to our dads.

Truth be told, my relationship with my dad lives near “nonexistent.”   I was always different from everyone else in my family.  And as I grew older, the gap grew wider.  These days, though we’re only 90 minutes apart, the emotional distance is more like “other side of the world.”

Earlier this week I saw a tweet from Adam Roth that said “Any thought that makes you feel that you have to earn or “work hard enough” today for God to be pleased with you is a spirit of Fatherlessness.”   It hit me in the gut and has stayed in my mind for days.  Enough that it could be another blog post, but not today.  What it did do is cause me to evaluate where I am with that relationship right now.

I bought a Father’s Day card that says “I’m praying God opens up a new door for us. A new beginning of grace, respect, forgiveness-and the understanding we both long for.”  To be honest, I don’t feel it.  But I know we’re called to do things even when we don’t feel them.  And while it’s true that I wasn’t loved enough, I know God can make miracles happen, even when we don’t have the ability to see it.  It may not change anything, but I’m thankful my heart is open to the possibility.

But you know, God is so good in knowing what we need. He knew that my flesh and blood dad couldn’t give what my heart ached for.  So He gave me an adopted dad who could.  Had it not been for this man, I’d be a shell of the person I was meant to be.

Today, I’m lifting up Dads.  Those who try. Those who fail. Those who give of themselves, and those who are learning to.  Those who know that life is made of memories they help create. And those who understand that when it comes to love…there is never enough.

Photo credit-The Tennessean

Images like this have made me cry this week.  By now, you know all about the great 500-year flood we had in Nashville over the weekend.  The damage is heartbreaking.  The stories of lost friends and family members, ruined homes, and flooded cars is gutwrenching.  We have a long road ahead of us to get Nashville and many parts of Tennessee back to what it was.

But beyond the loss, was something amazing.  A community rose up immediately.  Folks were putting boats in the water and risking their lives to help those stranded.  Local media teams were taking chances in volatile weather to keep us informed. Within a 24-hour period, over 7,000 people had signed up as a volunteer at Hands on Nashville.  And even still, there are teams of people who will spend at minimum, the rest of this week helping folks get back into their homes, but more likely, weeks and months.

Many tears have been shed and hearts ache as we watch those we love struggle with what will be a long road back to “normal”.    I can’t help but wonder what the silver lining is in all of this.  One thing is for sure…residents of Nashville and surrounding counties will never again wonder if we are a real community.  Lifelong friendships have been borne and faith has grown out of the muddy waters of this flood.
I am so proud of this city and thankful to be Nashvillian.

If you’d like to donate funds, here are two (of the many) reputable sites: Hands on Nashville and CrossPoint Church.

Pete Wilson, one of our pastors at the Nashville campus of  CrossPoint Church has been doing a series on Shattered Dreams.  Today, the lesson was on “Waiting on God”.  There were so many good nuggets in the message that it was almost hard to keep up with my notetaking.  I kept thinking about things going on in my life-even right now-where I really need the words he spoke today.

In my last post, I talked about some radical things I’m going after both personally and professionally.  And since writing it, I’ve been actively working on each thing.  My body definitely feels the effects of more rigorous exercise.  And the career pursuits are moving along. It’s been an exciting time all around, as I feel the inertia of moving forward.  The hardest part has been in asking God for a radical assignment.  Because the “homework” I’m doing right now…sucks.  My little girl has been struggling for 22 straight days with migraine-like symptoms.  We’ve been to countless doctors; she’s been poked and prodded, she’s had fluids put in and blood taken out.  And she’s been put on medications that have made even our pharmacist nervous.  And Nothing has worked.  At this point, I’m emotionally exhausted.  It has noticeably altered our lives, and has caused me many tears as I watch her struggle with the pain. There are moments here and there of her sweet, happy personality.  But the first and last words I hear each day are about how bad it hurts.

Pete asked a really hard question this morning.  When times get tough, will we trust or control? Though I’ve been saying that I was believing God for a change, and have been asking Him daily for a break in the pain, I’ve mainly been aggressively pursuing treatment and “driving the bus” to try to find an answer for why this is happening.  Don’t get me wrong–I absolutely believe in doctors and medicine…but first and foremost I know I should be looking up for guidance.  In our sermon notes today was this point: Hope does not come only from believing God’s power, but also from accepting and trusting His timing. Nothing about what’s been happening with her is normal.  I think it’s time for me to move from trying to control what’s happening and truly trust Him to protect her and heal her.  Because I know that God heals. And I have to trust that He made her for a purpose that’s not going to be destroyed by this pain.  I asked for a radical assignment, and this ordeal has definitely tested my faith.

Does this hit you in any area your of life?  Where do you need to let go and let God?

P.S. If you are running low on hope, or feeling that life hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would, please check out this website about Pete’s new book, Plan B.  I’m reading it now, and it’s the perfect message for this journey.

I know you

A week or so ago, Mary Graham and Sheila Walsh were tweeting.  It’s wonderful to see the Women of Faith ladies interact, as it’s clear they truly are family.  In one of her tweets, Mary was referencing an artist on the tour and said to Sheila, “One of life’s greatest pleasures is in being known.  And she Knows You.”  That phrase has stuck with me ever since, and I’ve been pondering why God planted that little nugget so tightly in my mind.  I didn’t understand it until this weekend.  God knew I’d need to chew on it a bit.

In a very unplanned twist to our day, we ended up at Davis Kidd bookstore on Saturday evening. As we wandered downstairs to visit the kids’ area, I noticed folks setting up for a live performance.  I paused as a man uncased a beautiful bass cello.  You could tell from the worn wood that it had been a well-loved instrument.  At that same time, someone began warming up, and I knew we’d be staying to see whoever was performing.  Music moves me.  All music, and not in a small way.  God knows that about me.  I think music is one of His very best gifts to us.

The event turned out to be a tribute to a woman named Ruth McGinnis.  She and her band had been regular performers at Davis Kidd (and many other places), and she had sadly passed away from ovarian cancer in October.  I hadn’t seen Ruth perform before, and it was only when her quiet, gentle-spirited younger sister, Erin McGinnis Long, shared that I began to catch a glimpse of who this amazing woman was.  It made her death more real, but also made the tribute that much richer.  Through Erin, I felt like I knew Ruth. 

Thinking back over these past two weeks, here’s what I keep coming back to:

1. We all want to be known.  We want a mate, friends, and our family to “get” who we are and love us, warts and all.
2. We want to know others.  To understand what makes others tick.  To know their joys and pains before a word is spoken.
3. Being known and knowing others is such hard work.  To get past the superficial is hard.  It takes commitment.  And sometimes, it’s painful. Most of the time, though, it’s truly rewarding.

But I think more than anything, we have this insatiable hunger to know and be known by our maker.  There are days when I struggle with both.  But after those bad days, I wake up thanking God that He hasn’t given up.  That, as in Isaiah 46:19, our names are carved in the palm of His hands.

Who knows you best?  And what keeps others from knowing you more?