How Much is “Enough”?

There’s a great scene with Sandra Bullock and James Garner in the movie version of Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood that always gets me.

Sidda: Daddy, did you get loved enough?
‘Shep’ Walker: What’s enough? My question is, did you?

As we search the stores for that perfect gift or perfect card this year for Father’s Day, I wonder if we should pause a moment to think about what will speak love most to our dads.

Truth be told, my relationship with my dad lives near “nonexistent.”   I was always different from everyone else in my family.  And as I grew older, the gap grew wider.  These days, though we’re only 90 minutes apart, the emotional distance is more like “other side of the world.”

Earlier this week I saw a tweet from Adam Roth that said “Any thought that makes you feel that you have to earn or “work hard enough” today for God to be pleased with you is a spirit of Fatherlessness.”   It hit me in the gut and has stayed in my mind for days.  Enough that it could be another blog post, but not today.  What it did do is cause me to evaluate where I am with that relationship right now.

I bought a Father’s Day card that says “I’m praying God opens up a new door for us. A new beginning of grace, respect, forgiveness-and the understanding we both long for.”  To be honest, I don’t feel it.  But I know we’re called to do things even when we don’t feel them.  And while it’s true that I wasn’t loved enough, I know God can make miracles happen, even when we don’t have the ability to see it.  It may not change anything, but I’m thankful my heart is open to the possibility.

But you know, God is so good in knowing what we need. He knew that my flesh and blood dad couldn’t give what my heart ached for.  So He gave me an adopted dad who could.  Had it not been for this man, I’d be a shell of the person I was meant to be.

Today, I’m lifting up Dads.  Those who try. Those who fail. Those who give of themselves, and those who are learning to.  Those who know that life is made of memories they help create. And those who understand that when it comes to love…there is never enough.

9 thoughts on “How Much is “Enough”?

  1. Lovely post to usher in Father’s day on Sunday. Amen to your prayers for fathers, both those who have tried, those who are trying, and those on their way to being true fathers.

  2. Great words. Every year is the same struggle. Standing in front of the cards display and not finding one to express how we really feel. the longing we so desire foR a real relationship with our earthly father. It is heartbreaking. Joining you in praying for all dads this week, especially one who lives 5 minutes away but time zones apart.

  3. This is beautiful, Jenn. Painfully beautiful. I have struggled through a rough relationship with my dad for much of my life, and only recently has it gotten better. Just a couple months ago we had 2 of the most significant and substantial conversations we’ve ever had. I can relate to much of this. Saying a prayer for you, your dad and the many of us reaching for God to fill the void of fatherlessness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *