Pete Wilson, one of our pastors at the Nashville campus of CrossPoint Church has been doing a series on Shattered Dreams. Today, the lesson was on “Waiting on God”. There were so many good nuggets in the message that it was almost hard to keep up with my notetaking. I kept thinking about things going on in my life-even right now-where I really need the words he spoke today.
In my last post, I talked about some radical things I’m going after both personally and professionally. And since writing it, I’ve been actively working on each thing. My body definitely feels the effects of more rigorous exercise. And the career pursuits are moving along. It’s been an exciting time all around, as I feel the inertia of moving forward. The hardest part has been in asking God for a radical assignment. Because the “homework” I’m doing right now…sucks. My little girl has been struggling for 22 straight days with migraine-like symptoms. We’ve been to countless doctors; she’s been poked and prodded, she’s had fluids put in and blood taken out. And she’s been put on medications that have made even our pharmacist nervous. And Nothing has worked. At this point, I’m emotionally exhausted. It has noticeably altered our lives, and has caused me many tears as I watch her struggle with the pain. There are moments here and there of her sweet, happy personality. But the first and last words I hear each day are about how bad it hurts.
Pete asked a really hard question this morning. When times get tough, will we trust or control? Though I’ve been saying that I was believing God for a change, and have been asking Him daily for a break in the pain, I’ve mainly been aggressively pursuing treatment and “driving the bus” to try to find an answer for why this is happening. Don’t get me wrong–I absolutely believe in doctors and medicine…but first and foremost I know I should be looking up for guidance. In our sermon notes today was this point: Hope does not come only from believing God’s power, but also from accepting and trusting His timing. Nothing about what’s been happening with her is normal. I think it’s time for me to move from trying to control what’s happening and truly trust Him to protect her and heal her. Because I know that God heals. And I have to trust that He made her for a purpose that’s not going to be destroyed by this pain. I asked for a radical assignment, and this ordeal has definitely tested my faith.
Does this hit you in any area your of life? Where do you need to let go and let God?
P.S. If you are running low on hope, or feeling that life hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would, please check out this website about Pete’s new book, Plan B. I’m reading it now, and it’s the perfect message for this journey.